Painting analogy to life

Am, no artist, but am forced to paint a picture

one that should reflect my stature

I force myself to paint one and am not surprised at what turns up

A blurry, hazy image of scaffolds and hollow peoples' contours is my big coup!

A tiny blotch would suffice

to bring forth an area of pertinence

a meaningless blotch of color, spilt from a stranger's palette

or better still, for a smudge due to my loner tears, I may ferret

No one knows you, you included. And no one wants to know about you,everyone included. We are scared of strangers and so preconceive certain things about them. Also, people look at you as the picture you paint of yourself. It is not just a mask anymore. It is a whole scene painted out threatening to show the world, what you hide inside. Things have changed these days. Wonderful artists have come up who can depict angelic scenarios on their rough canvases but evil might still lurk under their hoods. Am no artist and I have no idea how my life looks like. But burdened with expectations I set out to paint a bleak one. I then realize it is not merely my inability to paint, it is my inability to even conjure up an image of myself. Like a lost soul desperately trying to find a foothold, I draw  scribble and scratch and quibble. Awaiting some color, some faces and some places to associate with me.

The fortunes of solitude

No mind is untouched,

your thoughts and ideas were conveniently fetched

from crass craven talks

right there, the lunacy starts!

But Solitude, is a favor from the living

and the flavor of the dying;

By choice, it is a fortune

but by chance, you might just be dancing to its folly tune.

A solitary goon is, but a sane man

conjuring the world at best he can

readily trading reality for the world in his mind

living amongst the warm flesh of men

is imprisonment for his kind.

by and by, his mind grows to be deaf

and in time and with luck, completely dumb

A tactile world, he realizes is a mighty bluff

and to this lie, he wouldn't succumb

A Dusty Inspiration

Inspired, if you must

it could as well be from dust

Seen him? the prince riding on the rays of the sun

the sun, the scare causing sacred one, has human enemies none

But when men stomp on dust, dust rises and flies across

neatly gliding onto the path of golden rays

like the heat and the burn was not felt,like nothing could cause him to faze

Dust maybe has a thousand limbs invisible

sneaking through and clinging to old minds whenever possible

inviting a snigger,a sneer; jerking the lazy things

Cos he is a warrantor for freshness and gives change; new wings

Dust is hard, is strong and is just too aggressive

But water's fluidity threatens to wash away with steps progressive;

will this incapacitate dusts' disguised hold on the world?

oh,but then, our prince is quite intelligent and bold

Individual enemies are strong allies now

threatening to block out the mighty sun and how,

blankets of clouds have been formed

thereby sun's demeanor amongst humans deformed

Oh you naughty, haughty dust

thou definitely are the best!

TAG-athon!

Tagathon is fun! I dint realize it until I started taking it up. Initially I was a little hesitant to post personal stuff but once a part of it, the excitement sure catches on.

This is how the trend works.

Write 11 things about thyself. Pose 11 questions to the 11 blogger friends you are about to tag.

Ha! Rubbing hands and gearing up for blowing my own trumpet!

I am planning to give a 2-stage description about myself.

Stage 1 is all about what you will see in me at first glance. A lot of time and after a few life altering incidents you will find yourself agreeing with the explanation given in stage 2. Once you are there, you will either totally adore me or downright hate me. There is no middle ground!

Stage-1 Overview

I am

1. Shallow

2. Bossy

3. Complex

4. Eccentric

5. Cynical

6. Not short, not sweet

7. Impatient

8. Contradictory

9. Approval seeking

10.  Peter Girl

11. Rules Ramanujam Jr.

Stage-2 Clarifications

1.  Shallow

Shallow like a lake. Even if pebbles of distress send ripples of sadness, peace is regained in my heart at a fairly good pace. A clear mind and a plausibly short rebound time is what keeps me going.

2. Bossy

     Bossy like a teacher. I love sharing my knowledge, with peers and kids alike for no monetary gain. I got to confess, if I know for sure that something is good I would try and shove it down your throat(just like a school teacher who would do that to you). All of it is done in goodwill, trust me.

    3. Complex

Complex like a carbon compound. Never can predict when a bond snaps or is formed. Am friends with people you would generally stay away from and also with people you will die to have an introduction to. Am yet to figure out how human emotions work and at most times this causes huge ruckus in the lives of people surrounding me. I have trouble understanding people and they are most definitely undergoing the same trouble with me.   

   4. Eccentric

Ecstatically eccentric! I love myself. I think I am important in the story of my life. I have a special place in my heart.    

   5. Cynical

I am a believer of science. Not that am rebellious or against religions. But am a little skeptical and would prefer a good explanation to some age old tradition before I follow it.

   6. Not short , not sweet

Literally not short and not tall either. I don’t think anyone would use the adjective sweet to describe me, as I usually speak my heart and that is perceived as rude. Figuratively I talk loads; a lot of gibber and jabber. I can go on for hours together about some boring train journey I had undertaken when I was little. I will in fact prattle more about the rocket journey I want to take sometime in the future. But mind you, not all that I say should be classified as worthless babble. At times I might surprise you with my intellectual talks too.

   7.  Impatient

Oh! Did I say impatient?! That was a mistake. I had wanted to say I m patient. Patient with perturbed people. Friends usually trust me with their sorrowful stories. I may be of minimal use when it comes to advising or presenting solutions to their problems. But sometimes all they need is a patient ear and a silent shoulder for their vent, both in terms of words as well as tears and I can sure as hell provide that.

  8. Contradictory

Contradictory, but not confused. Let A and B be opposing theories. In situation C I would go with A but in situation D I would vehemently argue for theory B. This is because I believe there are no universal guidelines. What’s good for one, need not be good for another.

   9. Approval seeking

A little appreciation never hurts. I have a few people of importance to my heart. I seek their approval at most times. (Refer point 4)

   10.  Peter girl

Most Indians would understand this point. Peter girl simply means a girl who always shows off her English speaking abilities. Lame as it may sound I love the oxymoron “Peter girl”. Truly speaking, I like English as a language. I can connect myself with its every word and it’s very soothing to me. I do not advocate the use of long and strange GRE type of words. I talk plain simple English and am comfortable with it.

   11.  Rules Ramanujam Jr.

Most Tamilians would have understood the self-explanatory point. I believe that good intentional, logic bound rules can turn around a lousy person. I have, at times broken rules but am jittery the whole time after that. So I prefer to stick to rules and lead an uncomplicated life.

Now that I am done talking about me to my heart’s content, its question-answer time now. Preethi had tagged me so am giving her my answers.

Preethi: Your views on God, spirituality, ghosts and athma.

Me: My views about God, nature, etcetera ring very closely to the depiction in the movie Avatar. All of us are connected and everything is essentially energy sharing. God is the sum total of all our good energies and positive vibrations.

I have trust in the existence of ghosts but I have no plausible theory supporting it.

Preethi: What makes your life meaningful?

Me: Love. Clichéd answer, I know; but there is an element of truth in it.

Preethi: The best ways to tackle anger and detest.

Me: I have absolutely no idea when it comes to containing anger. But I simply choose to ignore the people I detest. No point bitching about them or getting all worked up because of them.

Preethi: How do you visualize yourself in another 10 years?

Me: Another clichéd answer coming up. I would be a mother with 2 children and a loving husband. And being at a top post in a company would not hurt J

Preethi: What remains as your far-fetched dream till date?

Me:  Living in a tree house for a whole day in the midst of wilderness. Another dream of mine is scuba diving!

Preethi: Something that makes you proud or stays as your identity.

Me: My attitude. It sure is my identity

Preethi: How do you connect with me?

Me: We are scorpios! We have a cosmic connect!

Questions to my friends:

1. If you had to choose between intelligence and money, what is your choice?

2. Share a funny life incident.

3. If you could invent something, what would it be?

4. What soothes your soul?

5. Is there life after death?

6. What does success mean to you?

7. Mention top 5 things from your bucket list.

8. Your favorite movie?

9. What is the strangest dream you ever had?

10. What is the best thing that has ever happened to you?

11. Favorite hang out spot? Why?

Manju

Raj

Bhargavi

Anjana

Soumya

An ode to my oldman

I remember the first time I looked at you,

you were an acquaintance quite anew.

A tad too old to skip and play around,

a tad too young to be quiet sans a sound.

Don't make so much noise;

Oh! please do put back your toys;

lean not against the wall

at home, don't play the ball;

come, come, listen to the news

in the future, it would be of some use;

exercise every part from toe to head

that alone would guarantee a healthy future ahead.

Geez!Those were your advices tested and tried

but I quite never did take it in the right stride,

past are the days of my ignorant childhood

and now realization has hit hard, like it should.

The dormant values you had in me, imbibe

did truly help in life's battles, to survive.

All these years have been a concoction of feelings.

A laughter here and an anger there,

a spectrum of emotions I got to wear.

Looking back I feel a pang of rue

for having initially failed to realize the true you;

took a while to bar all that strict demeanor

and identify that you are a man like no other;

Your steady, brisk walk,

a clear, practical talk,

it is as if you mock,

me, with your death and I can't hide my shock.

Those strolls on the beach;

the values that you would preach,

along with narration of your life's incident

and listening to it for the nth time, its like the first time I would pretend.

I miss you my friend.

I believed you would break the life-death trend

and stay with me till my end.

But you have chosen to leave me, to help me grow,

to be matured and accept life's flow.

You have molded me, a time too many,

as you did with my docile granny;

wishing you two a happy togetherness in heaven

plus for all those lives to come, in the cycle of seven.